Glendale, SoCal & The World
urban toot
What should we do tomorrow? Will
anyone be interested in bowling? Maybe the pool?
We must consider the age differences too so
no one complains. Will the weather hold out for an outdoor activity and do we have a backup plan if it doesn’t?
Sometimes I think being a parent is really training to be a cruise ship activity director. Where do I apply?
I know that when I end up living with one of our children at some point in the future, there are a few things I will have a yearning to do. I will grab a random crayon and write on the walls and furniture. I will make sure to never hit the toilet when I pee. Forget about flushing too. No matter what is served for dinner, it will not be what I will want to eat. There will always be more food on the floor than in my stomach too. When we go on road trips there better be snacks packed and entertainment. As they say, payback is a bitch. As I say, payback is a bitchy grandma.
You have no doubt used it. No doubt wondered how you got along without it. It has guided you to a party out of town and has never been wrong. Some may consider it essential when life gets crazy and you find yourself running around getting everything on your list done. No, I am not talking about the old school Thomas Guide. I am talking about the GPS. You know, the Girly Pointing System, aka your wife or girlfriend.
Sometimes I am amazed at what comes out of my mouth. Seriously. While helping our six year old get ready for his shower, I had to tug at his pants to get them free after a long day of playing outside. While tugging, I also started patting him down TSA style and asked if he had anything in his pockets I needed to take out, as I did not want my washing machine destroyed by rocks, metal objects, paper clips, and other random things that he ends up adopting throughout the day. It was then that I could be heard saying, “Do you have a shank in here too?” Such is life.
Why are women over forty wearing feathers or metallic strips in their hair? Really.
Which evil woman came up with the idea of birthday goody bags? That is what I want to know. I would also like to know how her children turned out.
If you have a home with boys as I do (three of them to be exact)then you have a home filled with those square, rectangular, circular, triangular, pointy, small, medium, and large Lego pieces of all colors. They are great for the imagination and focus of wee minds. Over the years I have heard, “Mommy, look at what I made!” as they beamed with delight in their newest Lego creation. A good mother would smile and beam back with pride. In my case I answer with, “ I made PEOPLE! Three of them. They can breathe, poop and fart too? Can your Lego guy do that, huh?” Mother of the year.
It used to be that would tell one of our three sons, “It is a BIG planet people, spread out!” As I watched our twelve year old walk to Rosemont for his first day as a seventh grader last week, all I could think was, “please don’t grow up too fast.” Funny how that works, huh?
While walking through the aisles of the local Glendale, Costco, I had this thought: Should I really buy a box of 96 Tampax tampons? Am I going to need all those panty shields? I realized that at the age of 42 it is plausible that menopause may be around the corner for me and maybe I should stick to the grocery aisle for the 12 pack. Who knows?
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